Two kinds of Desires; Charlotte Joko Beck

"There are two kinds of desires: demands (“I have to have it”) and preferences. Preferences are harmless; we can have as many as we want. Desire that demands to be satisfied is the problem… Practice has to be a process of endless disappointment. We have to see that everything we demand (and even get) eventually disappoints us. This discovery is our teacher… Practice brings us to… fruitful suffering, and helps us to stay with it. When we do, at some point the suffering begins to transform itself, and the water begins to flow. In order for that to happen, however, all of our pretty dreams about life and practice have to go, including the belief that good practice—or indeed, anything at all—should make us happy… Practice does not require that we get rid of [personally centered thoughts], but simply that we see through them and recognize them as empty, as invalid." From: Nothing Special: Living Zen. Charlotte Joko Beck

It is so difficult to shake the habit of believing that, if only I get it right (whatever it may be), then I will win the prize: I will get happiness! Our poor human minds are so filled with incessant cravings and persistent aversions! Our brains crank out instantaneous judgments of LIKE or DON'T LIKE about everything we encounter, including (or especially!) our own thoughts, feelings, and impulses. The good news is that this is not all that our minds are capable of: we are also capable of participating in our reality with a larger and more compassionate mind: some call this Big Mind, or maybe Wise Mind. Mindfulness practice, or Insight Meditation, helps us to experience Big Mind. Over and over, we notice a judgment, and we let it go. Let it go, let it go, let it go, and then let it go! The judgment doesn't matter! Let's say there is a situation I cannot solve, and I hate it! It doesn't really matter that I hate it, and that I hate my own hatred of that situation; what matters is that I engage in whatever effective action, in that situation, that is consistent with my values. Then, I can begin to put the hatred away. A little less hatred in the world is a step in the right direction, is it not?